MeMoirS..

Pictures got it all...

As I glance through my photos, the old and new ones, everything flashes back at the back of my mind. The precious and unforgettable ones, the cutest one, the bondings, the happenings, the moments...all of them turned back as if travelling with a time machine that pictures out everything up to the beginning. My birth, parties, commencement days, class pictures, family pictures, pix with my barkadas, friends, relatives, and others.

I come to realize I've grown up in not-so-boring, happy and enjoy life mixed with ups and downs. I neber think of that. The dark side of my life lord over the brigth one. I took for granted the happiest, best, and he brigthest moments of my life. I am too much affected with the problems that should have been dumped iin the first place. Life I thought is really so meaningful, so precious and indeed the best gift. I realized that I'm lucky, I was given a chance to be happy, to be complete, to be human. I was dressed up with a clean clothes, neat shoes, sheltered in a dwelling where you call home, given a chance to educate in a prestige university, gifted a friend, and a family. I am guilty. I didn'y even appreciate all of this. I am demanding. I am busy picking up stones taking for granted the precious gems scattered around.

mY Wounded Child

Years ago the child in me was wounded by the world, well meaning as it was.
The scars of yesterday remain etched on my being,
taking their toll on all my days and nights.
Looking back, I can see the errors of those around me.
Little did they know the pain and suffering they would bring me.
Now that I am older I search for that loving open child that was.
But he remains in hiding from the pain that today might bring.
I want to set her free,
so that my life can be anew. But to reach her I must look
deep into pain and the past. She protects himself with
games that he plays. Games of guilt and anger and fear and resentment.
There is no winner in these games. For me to be free she must be free to act and react not as the world expects but as she feels is right.
Those around may not understand the turmoil and grief I feel for his suffering. I'm not even sure who she is anymore but I know when she comes forth that I will love her.
For she is the me I used to be and want to be again.
The me that is real.
I have missed him all these years and it is the time for her to have her say.
To guide my feelings and my growth. It is time for her to set my world right. She has been gone too long.
I welcome her now to brigthen my future and change my ways.
To help me laugh and love again in ways only she knows how.
For when she returns, you may may not know me. But that's ok,
for she will love you just the same. She will bring a smile to your face and love to your heart.

missing him....

The songs.. the road... the fone... the room, the moments, every places I go, every single second, every songs he made, even the ode he wrote... everything reminds me of him.
How can I ease the loneliness he left if everything I see, I hear, I sense reminds me of him.
Is four months not enough to burry the one-week memories we had? What's in that week? I wanna move on.




I had hurt many people because of this pride.





Indeed he told me I'm special but yes he didn't mention that he loved me,
and still I'm waiting... waiting in vain.

I'm over him...

I'm over him...he's no longer the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.
I realized the foolishness I had...the big mistake I ever did and it's loving him. He's not worth loving and he's not worth needing.
The teardrops were shed but it had drained. And left a stain on my guitar. Stain that will never be washed away for it has been sink beneath.
It's now a painful memory of the past. Part of my darkest memory. But it should remain as it serves as an accomplishment.

He WAS the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.

He WAS the song I kept singing but I did not know why I did.

He WAS the only thing that kept me wishing on a wishing star.

He WAS the time taken up and it's now enough because he's no longer the one that I need to fall into.

I'm over him!!! Jeyvee's over...

PaTcH AdAmS...

Love...
passion..
sacrifice...

I admit that once I was one of those students which entered these profession for monetary reason. I am a liar if I'll tell you that I'm not such. I admit that the sole reason of choosing nursing is to go abroad...earn money... and be happy. But it was changed. These notions seem to be vanished, because, someone introduced to me the true spirit and real sensibility of this profession.
Last Friday, (Feb. 1), we watched the story of Patch Adams. A person who has a strong personality and demonstrated his love, passion, and sacrifice just to serve people with his medical profession. I learned from him that if you put passion in your heart as a health care provider, everything is possible. He made me believe that truly laughter is the best medicine. With his humorous personality, he let his patients express their feelings and made them feel that life is worth living.

One psychiatric patient there once said that if you go beyond the limit, you can find the answer you've been searching for. Just like the four fingers in our hands, we can see that there's eight fingers if we look beyond. Just like ourselves, we cannot see the real self if we won't look beyond. Cancer patients there was also delighted by Patch Adams who made them feel that life is indeed worth living. Even those aged people had been delighted by Patch Adams and brought upon them a bunch of "excessive happiness".

Patch Adams, just like us, is not perfect...he's just an ordinary medicine student who put passion in his heart, to light up those who need to be enlightened. And he's just an ordinary person who suffered a lot to make his dreams possible. He was once torn between two decisions: stay or quit. But since he wanted to be a doctor with all his heart, even there's a mountain of trials, he made it.
In my sophomore year in this profession, I want to be Patch Adams. A person that bears love and passion. A person who cures the other way. I may not be the best damn nurse you've ever seen, just like Patch Adams (the best damn doctor you've ever seen), but I can be a better damn nurse you've never seen.

oNcE in a MooNsEt....

It's so good to feel tHe natural creations....

thE seA..

the skY..

tHe sun..

the mountains so high..

thE clouDs..

tHe moon...



it feelS like sitting down while watching the sun to set...
So good... like there's no tomorrow...
so promising...
so good...

EjAy'S ReaCtion....

Stolen...

My Nursing Family.....

i'M eighteen

Thinking that I'm turning to be a lady makes me wonder and let me flashback the past life I had. Once I was a child thinking only simple things that I didn't expect to be more complicated. I was dependent in every little details I've gone through, I'd never think to be more self-dependent, more mature and more than a child. Days we really don't intend to happen are those days that mark the calendars of our heart. People we meet time by time just pass; others remain, others go. With this life, I am proud to tell that I've surpassed those things, such things that really tested my being...my life.

I learned from someone that as we go through the journey of our life, responsibilities grow bigger and piled up in front of us, for us to bear, for us to enjoy. Indeed that''s rewarding but the heck are those unbearable, a punishment on the other hand. Life is really unpredictable. We don''t know what's next, even a single idea of what to expect. For those I've gone through, it thought me how to appreciate life as well as little things sometimes we overlooked. I did hate love even I myself didn't understand. I loved but I don't think it's real, perhaps it never been a fake. It made me patient and strong even I know it hurts me a lot.

I lived for fame, for name, for honors. I tried to create goos image that I don't regret for... it made me realize who I am. Some wanted to be like me little did they know how hard to be like me, how painful mu life was behind those little success. Part of me is a pretender, I admit. I don't let peole see I'm crying out loud behind those sweet smiles. Once my heart crushes down, nobody knows. I'm trying to outlook life positively... and the beginning is nearly approaching. I believe that startingbegins after the end, as far as I know that God will shed light for me to see the path for the beginning and I welcome it wholeheartedly.