mY Wounded Child

Years ago the child in me was wounded by the world, well meaning as it was.
The scars of yesterday remain etched on my being,
taking their toll on all my days and nights.
Looking back, I can see the errors of those around me.
Little did they know the pain and suffering they would bring me.
Now that I am older I search for that loving open child that was.
But he remains in hiding from the pain that today might bring.
I want to set her free,
so that my life can be anew. But to reach her I must look
deep into pain and the past. She protects himself with
games that he plays. Games of guilt and anger and fear and resentment.
There is no winner in these games. For me to be free she must be free to act and react not as the world expects but as she feels is right.
Those around may not understand the turmoil and grief I feel for his suffering. I'm not even sure who she is anymore but I know when she comes forth that I will love her.
For she is the me I used to be and want to be again.
The me that is real.
I have missed him all these years and it is the time for her to have her say.
To guide my feelings and my growth. It is time for her to set my world right. She has been gone too long.
I welcome her now to brigthen my future and change my ways.
To help me laugh and love again in ways only she knows how.
For when she returns, you may may not know me. But that's ok,
for she will love you just the same. She will bring a smile to your face and love to your heart.