Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Everything is a lie...

I feel betrayed...really, I admit, there were no tears, no feelings at all. It's vague. I am vague. All of those are vague. My emotions no longer exist. I wanna cry out loud but I think my lacrimal ducts have been blocked with too much pain (or maybe just dehydrated). Kidding aside, I'm really confused of what really happening in my damn life. It's damn, as what I said. Damn nothing. Is it really easy to play my heart? Am I destined to be broken? Nah! It's no longer just an emo-sense. It's really happening, now, in me. I know...it's just a feeling (pain) and it really kills... kills me. You know what I mean?

The liar, the immature.

It's him.

I thought he's enough for the love and the care I've waited for a very long time. But it's the relapse... of previous heartaches. I hope you know what I'm talking about. (sorry to those who can't comprehend). He didn't even give reasons and silence really hurts damn more...more and more. I did love him. I DID!!! And maybe he did the same thing too, for me (probably when we were together). He told me true love never dies. It's from him...from his damn lips and now all I know is a lie. A LIE!!! Is true love never die? I think Joshua Kadison's a liar, too.

"We won't say goodbye, coz true love never dies."



ALL OF THESE A LIE. I must have learned from the very start that there are no such thing as true love. True love dies in a natural death. And it was proven with evidence. Wanna know? Put me in a exploratory laparotomy and you can see my heart broken and dried with so much pain attached into it.

I wanna feel something. I wanna be hurt. I wanna feel the pain because I know it will just pass but damn, I feel nothing. I'm senseless. He hurts me so much and it's too much already. I don't wanna try to forget him. It's just making me fool. Fooling myself to try hard. It's true, we can forgive but we really can't forget.

All I can say...

...now,

...I'm meant to be broken.

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